Choosing the Best Adoptive Parents for Your Baby

Choosing the right adoptive parents for your baby is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. Luckily, you will have plenty of options. It’s not out of the ordinary to be approached by five or ten prospective parents, including couples and single adoptive parents. There may be even more.

This might sound like a stressful situation, but your adoption agency is there to help you every step of the way. For example, you do not need to meet directly with adoptive parents “out of the blue.” You’ll only meet with those you pre-select based on the adoption profiles you get to review.

Adoption profiles are detailed documents compiled by the adoptive parents. They tell you all kinds of things about each parent, their home, community, and lifestyle. From this information, you can build a picture of how your child might be raised and whether you feel the conditions are right to flourish.

If an adoption profile doesn’t meet your approval, you never have to meet with those prospective parents. This makes it easier for you to make decisions based on your own values. And don’t worry – prospective parents you don’t choose will continue their process and have their own happy ending!

Since you will have a lot of information at your fingertips, you will always be able to make an informed decision. That said, it is always completely up to you. Choosing the best adoptive parents for your baby will look different for every mother, and there is no right or wrong way to go about it.

Let’s consider some tips for choosing adoptive parents:

1. Decide What Kind of Adoption You Want

An open adoption is one in which you will build a lasting relationship with the adoptive family, sharing contact information. A semi-open adoption provides photos and updates through the adoption agency, but no direct contact. In a closed adoption, there is no contact after the baby is placed with a family.

2. Set Your Priorities

Every parent works hard for their children, but nobody is perfect. It helps if you start the process with your own priorities in mind. Educational opportunities, religion, family structure, and a variety of other factors may play roles. Make a list and understand which aspects you feel are most important.

3. Work With Your Adoption Professional

As you determine what’s most important to you, keep your adoption professional aware about your preferences. This smooths and accelerates the process, because you are more likely to get adoption profiles that make you feel good about following up!

4. Prepare Follow-Up Questions

When an adoption profile meets your approval, you will have the chance to meet with prospective parents. In some cases, you may even be able to submit questions before a meeting. When a profile raises questions in your mind, write them down so you can get more information.

5. Make the Connection

Initial contact with prospective adoptive parents used to be through a phone call. These days, it is just as common to see it done through Zoom or Skype. Remember – in a situation like this, everyone’s bound to be nervous. Prospective parents want to get to know you, and they appreciate your situation.

6. Ask Open-Ended Questions

To learn more about the prospective parents, ask them any questions you might have prepared already. Open-ended questions that require a detailed response will get them talking and give you a better sense of their personalities. It is very common to ask for details about why they want to be parents.