Selecting Gender in Adoption

Are you wondering about gender in adoption? Gender in adoption is an interesting and sometimes complicated topic any aspiring adoptive parent should know a little bit about.

  When parents undergo fertility treatments, it may be possible to select the gender of the baby. But what about gender in adoption? It depends on your needs and the adoption agency you work with.

To make sure an adoptive placement is in the best interest of a child, you will work with a licensed adoption agency. Typically, this means an agency in your own state. In cross-state or international adoptions, an out-of-state agency may even collaborate with a local agency to help you.

Whatever the case, your options for gender in adoption may vary based on adoption agency policies.

Can I Choose the Gender of a Child in Adoption?
Some parents have strong feelings about the gender of a child, and this holds true for adoptive parents as well. If this is very important to you, you may have the chance to develop a gender-specific adoption plan with your adoption agency of choice.
It’s crucial to make your expectations and goals known upfront. Most adoption agencies understand and will gladly work with you for a gender-specific adoption plan. Others may not have anything in place that would allow them to serve your needs effectively.
It’s very rare for an adoption agency to decline to work with an adoptive parent or parents as a result of wanting to adopt a boy or a girl. If that should happen, however, there will be many other agencies you could work with instead. It is essential to find one that’s fully supportive of your perspective.

The most common way for adoptive parents to choose the gender of the child in adoption is for them to participate in the foster care system. However, it’s not necessary to be a foster parent to choose gender. A significant portion of domestic adoptions annually involve adoptive parents with a gender preference.

When working with an adoption agency for the first time, you’ll be able to make all of your preferences known. For example, you may be open to adopting a child with special needs. A trans-cultural adoption, where adoptive parents and children are of different cultural background, is another common scenario.

All families are different, and there are no expectations you need to worry about.

Does Gender in Adoption Change the Adoption Process?
The desired gender of your adoptive child may sometimes influence which adoption agency you end up working with. However, it makes no impact on the legal process of adoption. The process is the same no matter the gender of the child or the gender of the parent or parents.

Adoption is uniform throughout the United States to ensure children are fully supported throughout the process, no matter what route they take on their way to their forever home. If you adopt a child from a second country, there may be additional stipulations to know about.

As a general rule, girls are put up for adoption more frequently than boys. At the same time, girls make up the majority of children who are adopted in any given year. If your heart is set on adopting a boy, it may take slightly longer, in some cases, than adopting a girl. But adoptive parents agree: The work and wait is worth the effort to complete your family and start your future together.


Whatever your vision for your future family is, Jennifer Fairfax is here to provide compassionate help and expert advice. Contact us today to find out more or get started.